...

So rip my pictures from your wall, tear them down and burn them all
Light the fire and walk away, there's nothing left to say
So take the ashes from floor, bury them to just make sure
That nothing more left of me
except bittersweet memories

Just bittersweet memories.

Hopefully you all recognise that as BFMV, I'm in love with their music...

ICE.

Ice is always good for a trololololol at people and yourself. Slippy Slippy :P
However, in all seriousness, hope your ice related injury gets better soon Katie.

Me and Jack are so keen; planning Killjoy outfits for MCR and trying to think of Killjoy alias names. Yes, we are very excited.

Thinking about everything can ruin a day, but its worse when you don't know what to think but can't stop anyway.

Quickly out of question

No download, too much going on round that time. Exams and whatnot. Probably too expensive aswell. However, MCR TOUR BITCHES!! XD I'm going to that :D

While on the subject of download, my reaction to the possible invitation of one person may have been taken as rude. Fair enough it was and it was undeserved. I don't habour any sort of dislike or anything like that, I just didn't appreciate the potential awkwardness. It's not the idea of talking or having to spend time thats the problem. It's that it doesn't happen. I guess I'm just still a bit sore that's all.

Long time dead.

For Katie, who pointed out I haven't blogged in much time passings.

Nothing ever properly really dies. As long as a memory exists, so does it's subject. I.e. this blog. Same with feelings really. Time and sepration wear down the sensitivity until all thats left is a deep buried memory. Right down in the shadows of your heart soemthing remains for quite some time.

Revival is quick, easy, sometimes brutal. Simply re-talking with someone is enough to remind you of every reason you ever liked them. Simple enough.

Not much to talk about really.

RAINBOW!! BLEH!!!!!!!

Inclusion. To expand and whatnot.

Above my bed I have a collection of post-it notes, all of which have written on them a quote, lyric or piece of advice for me from me that I don't want to forget. I'm going to add one of these to each blog post from now on so I can share them all with you. How thoughtful of me.

A's and A*'s for my current GCSE results. MEGA PLEASED. Bit disappointed with biology, but I know what my main mistake was so I'll do better next year. Did I mention I was pleased with my results.

To Welbeck, or not to Welbeck? That is the question. With times like this, people getting the best of best results, but still not getting places in university, could Welbeck be an option if all else fails. I'm not too keen on going there, or pursuing a military career, but I can't disregard the chance. I would much prefer not to go.

Starting up a Kerrang! wall. Sort of in the same place as my post-its. I'm thinking I'll have the post-it space in the piddle with eventually posters all around the. So far, I've got an ATL one, Paramore and Lostprophets, along with a cut-out of Paramore getting the Best Album award. I felt that should be up there.

So, first bit of advice falls into relationships.

Don't be a fucking lazy, useless, douchebag shithole like me and go out of your way to see them. I regret making this mistake, so it is now on my wall as a reminder for making an 'Active Visiting Effort'

Half A Mind To Say Never

I waste my days waiting on you

Each day goes not waiting for me

I need someone to set me free

To let me follow time through

Love is the hardest thing in life

Hard to find, hard to start, hard to finish

But it's hardest to forget

While my memory's refuse to diminish

I can't get away when all that holds me

Is no less than myself

Give me the chance that I keep missing

The chance to make the right choice

To pick the right person to love

Don't send the past back to me

While I still have half a mind

Half a mind to say never

Each second I stay sat in the past

Is a another dig into my own grave

I was writing my tombstone

Hopeless and broken by my own thoughts

When I hand offered from above

Pulled me from my despair

Give me the chance that I keep missing

The chance to make the right choice

To pick the right person to love

Don't send the past back to me

While I still have half a mind

Half a mind to say never

She found me just in time

Saved me from wreck and ruin

Shown new light of a new hope

I had half a mind to say never

Now I have a mind to say forever.

I won't give up this chance to choose right

To pick the right person and to fight

Not another mistake in love

The past won't come back to me

Half a mind to say never

Now a mind to say forever

From Wales We Return.

Annual was the most fucking awesome week. Went out into the training area on Sunday for a day of training before starting our exercise scenario on Monday morning, which was as follows.

'We were in the area to prevent hostilities between to rival tribal units flaring and to protect innocents in the area. Our first move was to deny an enemy reccie patrol access to our area. Success. Next, we set up our harbour area before moving on our next objective. Meanwhile, General Cardigan Fitzbadly (no joke, that was the actual name we were given), played by Mr. Peplow, was flying out to take command and address the troops. Intel gathered suggested the General was going to be the target of a kidnap operation but he continued on despite this. Our Night-op was to set an ambush along the route of most likely activity and prevent enemy advancing on the HQ while 1 2 and 4 Platoon formed an all round defence about the HQ. The ambush was successful but General Fitzbadly was captured. Our morning attack was to eliminate the enemy and recover General Fitzbadly. We won, obviously.

Alot of 'hurry up and wait' all through the exercise.

Went out on the ranges on Wednesday. Got a grouping of five shots within an area I could cover with my hand at 100 metres. Pretty good for my first shot I'd say.

Thursday was adventure training, climbing, archery, that sort of thing, not the best day.

Friday was Commandant's parade which was fine despite the rain. The the disco. Noise, sweat and cadets. That was a good night.

Now I'm home, and it's damn good to sleep past 10 for the first time in a week. 6 in the morning everyday while on camp.

Shame I won't get to see much of the friends I made on camp. People from all over the Northampton area. A-COY!!! :D

Time to get settled back in to being at home, ready for results on Tuesday.

I don't hate anybody. I merely don't appreciate the fact some people exist.

It ain't your first thought. I think, but I don't know what your thought is. Whatever it may be, it ain't so now your all confused. It's not like I harbour ill feelings against anybody. There's not enough time to hate or bear grudges. Why burden and slow myself with such unpleasantness. I don't need that, it would be most counter productive to life's main objective. To last until tomorrow. Which is hard enough. Who knows when one day you just step out the front door and then your beat to death by a raccoon with mini-fridge. Well maybe not a raccoon with a mini-fridge but the point is the same. Life is its own worst enemy.

The only hate I harbour is to those who harbour and spread hate. Go die you close minded, ignorant people.

That's that our my system.

Not like my system actually works any more beyond simply going on and on and on. I'm just sort of there without much of a plan of where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do on a day to day basis.

Happy for Dan's happy.

Lows are so dull and depressing. I think it's time I earn't an high for myself. Life doesn't owe anything to us, so why wait around when it's waiting for you claim it. It's just really high up and it's hard to keep motivated on the climb with nothing to aim for but an end result.

CHECKPOINT.

I've put a number of post-it notes up around my room recently. (Wednesday morning at about 2) that have written on them where I go wrong so I never fail again, as well as a number of quotes and lyrics, some motivational, some not so. What remains to be seen is whether I've actually learnt from my past failures. Whether I can prove to somebody who'll risk it and more importantly to myself that I can do things right, and that I'm not a human embodiment of disappointment.

This may seem a bit of a depressing post but trust me, its dark, sort of moody, and this is how a climb to happiness starts. In the threatening shadow of gloom and despair that grows from within. But a metaphorical climb is easier with a metaphorical rope and a metaphorical helping hand on the end of it. I'm open to any help anyone is kind enough to give.

Focus points only last so long.

Imagine, something has occurred. It's not good, it hurts you, you want to escape it. You find a distraction don't you. Pick something you can put all your time into, stop your mind slipping. It works and time slips by, but you get close to passing your focus, achieving it. What then? Risk a relapse, pick a new one. You can't hide forever, and a relapse could break you. As human, you can't fix something alone. No-one can, not me, you, anyone. As human, we have each other. There is the secret. We need people who care to support us. Help us away from our troubles. Someone else can sooth wounds with kind words, can steel hearts with hard truth. Or they can simply slot themselves in a fill the hole. It all works best when all 3 come together. Hard truth I can do. he wound, I can do. However, I can't fill the hole left. There is the risk of relapse. No matter how healed the wound or steeled the heart. That hole can undermine it all, and it has before.

For now I'm on my own.

Huckleberry Crumble

One of my favourite Stone Temple Pilots song there. Spotify/youtube/whatever it. NOW.

While your at it, listen to some of their other stuff.

Had an OK time up north in Scarborough. They talk funny :) We had much time of amusement with their accents.

I can't believe how long my ATL t-shirt is taking. This is getting ridiculous.

I've been giving some more thought to my future. I was pretty certain I was going to Sixth Form at Moulton and I'd chosen the subjects I wanted to do there, but now I've been given an opportunity to go to Welbeck Military College instead, and its a tough choice. I don't have a plan as such for after Sixth Form but if I go to Welbeck I'll have a place in the Army as an officer. A 2nd Lieutenant to be exact, or a 'Rupert' as my Dad calls me now. It'll be a good career for a while. Chances for promotion, goodish wage, properly looked after. The whole deal.

It really is a tough choice.

Apperance of Order

Over the next sort of period of vague time, I will be sorting all my old posts and my new ones into categories. Like I have all my Lyrics collected together, I will be gathering all my physcological posts together, and I think I'll just leave the general stuff.

Missed, but a finally accepted loss.

Feeling moody always outs me thinking, and thinking either knocks me down or picks me up. Well, not always pick me up but this time it has definitely provided me with fortitude to move on. It's not like I now forsake her existence, but I've simply accepted that it's foolish to live on hope alone. I did that for months last time and it got me nothing. I'll take this as a chance to learn my own faults, and prepare myself for the future.

What happens now, I can't say. I know me, and I know I am extremely vulnerable and easy to capture to almost anybody that might try, not that any would. Notice I said almost, I still manage to keep some control, but I really am just a naive young man that trusts too much in what people say. I know what sort of person I like, both as a person and physically, but I hardly unreasonable, I'll put those things aside if I feel that they have no relevance. However, there are some things I will not compromise on, i.e. smoking. A vile and putrid habit that has no place.

I will put out some advice to everybody that I gave to Nikki last week. People aren't unreasonable or going to explode when you ask a question. Rather than speculate and assume and often get it wrong, just ask, it'll more than likely work out for you. Unless of course, you've picked someone completely unreasonable, in which case, take it as a sign.

MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH :'(

Overwhelming emotional crash earlier. I just seemed to suddenly realise a powerful feeling of loneliness, even though I was in the middle of a spooning session. It all seemed to hit me at once that dreams are futile, hopes are foolish, and reality stings. Everything fell down, and it all seemed to remind me of the well known 'her' and it doesn't even matter how I feel about her to anyone but me.

There's a sensation of flat. Like everyday has the same low, unfaltering line. Like there's nothing special to complete each day, sort of empty. I have nothing to look forward from day to day. I just keep going out of Fool's Hope.

It always happens. They can go on, I can't. I get stuck, frozen in my past, lost in what I lost. Nothing to lose and no chance to gain a way into the future.

That's the worst thing that can be done. Never underestimate of much or how quickly love can grow in even a short period of time. Just don't, or you'll never understand.

Thanks for hearing me out in maths nikki, even if all it did was make it worse.

I can't escape, yet even though it's killing me inside, I don't think I want to, I must have done something to deserve all this, so I'll see it to the very end.

It's a Tyranny of Normality.

getting away with murder is definitely a good album. :D

Onto the semi-relevant.

The search for a singer continues on. I think the problem is that we're stumped on where to start looking. I mean, it's not like they grow on trees, and there's hardly an unstoppable stream of volunteers when it comes to singing. Sigh...a final stumbling block.

Atleast we have every other position filled.

Me and Dan finally set that 2,000,000+ score on burn zombie burn. FUCK YEAH!

Moving on further.

I like to think of the past as a big list of things that you should and shouldn't do again. However, it requires quite a bit of sorting. That's what now is for, narrowing down what you should and shouldn't do from the past's big list. The future is a test to see if you got it right, and obviously, if you do, you win, and are justly rewarded for your effort.

If you lose...well, that's just your own fault and it's a case of try, try and try again. Or you could give up, but then you'd never win.

Teenage love analysis.

Lets stop and consider this for ourselves shall we? There is a lot of 'bah humbug' when it comes to teen love from older citizens who feel that we, as an absolute rule, are too young to feel true love. They are WRONG. A teenager is just a likely to fall in love as anyone older, the difference is, I believe, that its a very hit and miss thing. You will get those guys and girls that do, plain and simple, fall in love. Faithfully and deeply. The miss part is that, while there are these young people out there, it is rare for them to find each other. Some get lucky, they do get both sides in love, just like a full, proper relationship. Others, however, don't find one of these, and the one that is venerable to falling completely is also vulnerable to a serious crash if it all turns sour.

Of course, there are the hardened ones, who while are just as vulnerable to love, have learnt to heal themselves with cold logic. For anyone who wants to learn this art, a good start point is to consider these.

'Did you say you loved them?' If yes continue.

'Did they say they loved you too?' If yes continue.

'Did they leave you after a relatively short time?' If yes, continue.

End result, they never really meant it as you did, and your better of without them. Its cold, hard and brutal, but it saved me, so it might save you. That's how you heal yourself when you fall for someone who you thought was perfect for you, and just wasn't. Don't get me wrong, these people can fall in love, it's all down to finding just the right person, and that is down to luck, and perseverance in love. You can't give up on it, or say love can find you on it's own. You have to look and search for yourself, and there are always sacrifices and loses along they way, but although these may hurt you, you have to forgive and forget. Neither of those is easy to do.

This is my belief. There's not much I do believe in. I'm one those that likes to see and touch before I trust. In this however, it is so evident around us that you can almost feel it, and no-one can deny its effect on us all. I believe in love and karma. Both of these can't be proven, but can't be denied, there's just too much example of both, and they are both connected. Karma is what goes around, comes around, and if you put enough effort on finding love, then karma rewards as it passes around. Also, if you needlessly break a heart, assume that karma's is going to catch you one day.

To all you people out there that have found there love, I smile, and to all those who suffer on their journey, I salute you. Those who find have earn't it, and those who still try, you deserve it.

Farewell for this day.

So how we all doing our there. Since this is my blog I'll go first, ok?

Lets see. Well, I am feeling better, and I feel better as the day goes on. Mornings aren't great, but when are they ever? I feel better once I get myself working and focused. It's best if I keep myself form straying. At least now I have some of how I feel down into words. It's always helped before. Feel free to criticise and destroy my confidence with this sort of thing. Or don't, and instead tell me what you like about it.

I want those albums to hurry up, and my t-shirt. The albums I may just lend out to a few who want them, but keep ya grubby mitts of ma shirt.

New shoes, new shirts, new shorts (bleh) and a new hat. The only things that isn't new are me and my jeans, but those can be forgiven can't they.

When someone says says laughter is the best medicine, pay attention. There might just be a time where laughing can take away your pain. Over the last week, I really needed it, but now I think I can manage myself, having been steeled by cold thinking to kill those emotions. Now I just have to warm up again.

#7 Strangers (that's right, back to the lyrics)

What we had is now past

Never destined to last

All I have in love is just hope

I used to hold you tight

And you held me the same

Now it's like you don't even know my name

Lovers to strangers in less than a day

You set off a separate way

All I had to give

To let our light live

Now you don't even care what I say

I can't help to see

What it all meant to me

And it's too late to change your mind

The feelings I had

Feelings you said you shared

Now it's like you don't even know my name

Lovers to strangers in less than a day

You set off a separate way

All I had to give

To let our light live

Now you don't even care what I say

So much time to make

Just a moment to break

And little will to make whole again

The steps that I take

To escape my mistake

I've got pave a path for myself

Lovers to strangers in less than a day

You set off a separate way

All I had to give

To let our light live

Now you don't care what I say

Lovers to strangers

Let it stay that way

I'm set to make my own way

I want to forget your name...

Tell me what you think Love, Hate, Meh. Also, look at my other songs conveniently collected together for you. Just click below where it says 'Labels: Lyrics'

Kthxbai

STOP..... HAMMER TIME.

I can touch that ;)

Well, where to start. I have my own hat now :D I'm wearing shorts for the first time in years (outside of sport) and I have some new shirts. It's all good.

Played Mario Galaxy 2 for a bit. SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME XD My brother is far too keen however.

I want those Papa Roach albums and my ATL t-shirt to hurry up.

In a city of fools I was careful and cool

But they tore me apart like a hurricane

A handful of moments I wish I could change

But I was carried away.

All Time Low. Fast becoming my new favourites I must say. Thanks to Jack for introducing them (I think at least) and for the DVD. Fucking hilarious.

I might see if I can set some plans in motion. Since things never happen the same way twice, and no-one can un-step steps they've taken, lets make the path of the future seem more bright and welcoming.

Nothing Personal :D

Thanks to Moulton School's reward for excellence, I have acquired 3 Papa Roach albums for less than £5. I have also gained an ATL nothing personal T-shirt, and still have money for credit. =D

I feel more settled in the evenings for some reason, and hopefully that'll spill into tomorrow. One might even say I'm mending.

Nice and brief I've got an early start tomorrow.

MEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :/

It started dull, just disbelief. But it grew, definitely. It now occupies the bottom of my stomach and I feel slightly sick. In my head I feel lost. In my heart I feel broken, and in my stomach, I'm sick. I try to not let it out. Try to not be that miserable rain cloud on every ones' day. Easier said than done.

I say I think it'll stay over. That doesn't mean that's what I want.

GRATUITUS AMOUNTS OF GRATITUDE

I am honestly exceedingly grateful for all my friends. For today and tomorrow you have simply made it impossible to sit around feeling all sorry for myself, and I thank you all for that. You're all making this go a lot easier for me and you've all shown what friends can do. I'll be making this up to you all for a long time yet.

In other news:

You really should think about what you say in advance. I mean, seriously Jack, saying 'Rage tell me to fuck the man, and Robert your the man right now, so I'm fucking you' isn't quite what you meant it to be.

Music really isn't good for you after an 'incident' which may have left you with every right to be unhappy. Certain music will bring it out of you no matter how far you bury it, and sometimes at an inappropriate time, like in public. Thankfully, I don't visibly 'cry' as such, I just sort of lose ability to focus quite significantly. So, lets summarise. Alone + Music = SAD :( <-----

My Ipod currently has no life left, which probably was a good thing for today.

Thrown away. Story of my life.

4/4 short. It's like a curse. Every time I get involved it seems to just whither away when I least expect it. At least this time, there was degree of separation before had, which might have dulled the pain, but I suspect it will eat at me for a while and grow, or I'll just be fine with it. Bit of both as it stands. I'm doing better than I expected, but it might be that it's just not processed yet. No matter what though, it's over. It'll almost certainly stay over. That's how I see it and I have my reasons. Back to square one.

I have gratuitous amounts of that ' I MISS YOU ALREADY' feeling.

First Aid today, I am now qualified for 3 years. YAY. I can save people now. Legitimately .

Supposed to be there for 9:30 am so i got up at 8:55. Clever, I know. Wanna know what's more cleverer. I set an alarm for 8:00............PM. Go me.

Afterwards, Me and Norrish did some climbing around the Sixth Form block, surprisingly easy. We can climb onto and over the outer wall. But then Paddy came and pissed on our parade. (caretaker paddy that is)

I survived the weekend alone. Yeah, I didn't kill myself via food poisoning and the house isn't burnt down. I did however, get rather lonely. Loads of people in Brixworth for the carnival, which I couldn't go to. Jack went to 'A walk in the park' which I also could not attend. Didn't get to see Emily either. Which is above and beyond crap. But hey, everyone had fun so that makes it allright I guess. Even though I would rather not have such a big 'missing' feeling and a smaller one.

Oh well, Monday tomorrow, which while meaning school, it also means Emily :D

Apparently my certificate for First Aid can cross over to Cadets, so it's even more worth the time.

I love All Time Low, but I just can't relate to their name right now :D

Passed my grading today, that makes me a 5th Kyu. I start the higher classes now, that'll add up to 4 hours a week of club training. I think I'll just breeze through the classes though, just like I've been doing for the last year and a half or so.

All the exams are done for the year, so its all more relaxed now, although I do still have heaps of coursework to do.

I'm quite thirsty right now....

Well, England lost to Germany. No really a shock, but its still disappointing, and a bit embarrassing since it was 4-1. But hey, We won the Natwest Series (cricket) ODIs.

Go us.

I am, quite simply, ecstatic with my life right now. No prizes for guessing why.

I love you Emily.

I think I've come up with a new syndrome: Sleep Lag

So, my body has only just decided to feel tired after Pre-Camp, which was an awesome weekend, can't wait for annual :D

I have officially been a victim of Sleep Lag, it's not enough to feel tired for me, I have to feel tired 2 days late.

I'm quite worried about the number of pictures Norrish took of me on the way back though. I was asleep, and he took pictures. Not just the one, three pictures of me...sleeping...

Speaking of sleeping, I want in on that at the moment. I'm exhausted ^^^^Sleep Lag

Hate maths.

Allright chaps, lets try to imagine what it would be like to travel back in time, and tell yourself about where you will be right now. How many of you would believe yourself. I mean, if I went back to say, maybe February, and told, myself I would eventually be with Emily, I wouldn't believe myself, but now I wouldn't have it any other way. Odd isn't. Time changes everything if you let enough of it pass by.

No idea whether you read this but hey, I love you Emily.

I've already used super awesome happy, so I'll have to say that my happiness is reaching CRITICAL MASS!!! :D

It's just worked itself out hasn't it? I mean, look at where we all where so little time ago. I'd like to to say everyone is feeling better, but it wouldn't be true, which is quite a sad thing, but there has to be another side to the coin.

To think, it hasn't actually been that long. Not all that long ago, we barely knew each other, all that was going was what can only really be described as a crush on my part. Then that changed. We got talking, got to know each other. Credit where credit's due, it can really be traced back to Katie (who would have thought chatting in geography would lead to this) So thanks :)

Now, I'm at the beginning of a relationship with the most amazing person I could ever ask for.

Not hard to guess why I'm happy is it?

Back to basics.

Lets just get back to normal blogging shall we?

This weather needs to sort itself out. I would do it myself but its a bit hard to stare the weather into submission, and its not like mother nature cares. But then again, maybe she does, and the rain and overcast is to keep a balance, a balance that will keep the world habitable, and British weather typically British.

Pooping bubble wrap is almost therapeutic.

Never be afraid to just go all out and be a nutter. Don't answer to anybody when your out to have a bit of fun. Well, spinning around in circles isn't exactly universally considered fun. Shame really, it's good fun in groups when there's actual physical danger to each other, but falling over each other each other is a good collective laugh.

So......

Yeah well, hey there to those who have just recently found this. Welcome.

I know, I broke the most fundamental rule in blog making. That being: NO NAMES.

The point of that rule being that the blog cannot be linked to specific people that might know about said blog.

I broke that rule, and now I have to deal with the inevitable consequences of that. For better or for worse, what's done cannot be undone.

S, as in SUPER AWESOME HAPPY =D

no pointless milling about the point, just straight to it.

Just spent 2 hours avec Emily Kyprianides. (for those of you who don't know, I'mma in like with her) No Katie, just me and her. No proper awkward silences, just kept it moving right along. We're past that awkward physical contact barrier as well, you know, when your not quite sure whether your at the stage that allows a hug for hello/good-bye, but we're beyond that bit now.

As Jack says, it's my move now.

Farewell for now my friends.

(Added 10-06-10: I'm not going to remove this. No point in it now, its there, and its been seen. Hopefully the result of this post is not a bad one)

WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS YOU FIND A NEW GOD!

Luckily, I'm practically atheist, so I don't need have a God to give me lemons in the first place. I EARN MY OWN DAMN LEMONS! I DON'T NEED YOUR RELIGIOUS LEMONS! I shall instead attempt to not make my own lemons by not making dumb choices. By making ones that make me happy, and the right ones when others happiness is in the balance.


Cadet 150 on Sunday. Up bright and early for that :/ As in, before 6am.

title uninspired

No band practise today, unforeseen family events for dan. Never mind though, still a good morning with Emily and Katie at the park, facepalm, shoe stealing, laut lachend. Not so much time though. David showed up later, did some stuff, came back and heres now.

Tbh I'm a bit bored.

Good weather, except for the stupidly strong wind at the park. It's always windy there. ALWAYS.

I think I'm just gonna out with it now, I wasn't sure I should since it was just a dream, well, a recurring one, but a dream none the less, but now it seems real, so I feel more sure about telling.

100 posts, time for something new.

What was just in a dream is most definitely turning into something real. I don't know how to word it but its there, and I feel it. Amy will understand this better than most. My mind whispers it to me while I sleep, and my heart screams it at me when I'm awake. It's funny, I've not been talking to her long but I can't keep her off my mind.

And before Amy says that's freaky, she should remember that we hadn't spoken at all. Keep that in mind.

Break your little heart is way too short. Epic, but short :/

Paramore in November, all of the music Jack's copying for me, sorting out feelings.
It all adds up to a high point.

Thank goodness for a chance to explain.

What in the name of the dark unicorns majestic journey could have made you heard that. I was almost a sickened by the suggestion as you were with what you thought you heard. Please start listening to the whole damn name fool, or it'll go down hill from hill. Oh my.

Well done Amy, for mishearing, making us both sick, and finding me a FB page. Well done indeed.

I would let myself be dragged to hell if it had been what you suggested, luckily, the actuality of it was far better. Far better indeed.

Now that's past.

Love All Time Low now. My music taste is slowly growing to include more bands. All rock/alternative though. I'm not about to accept in the 'others'





Everything needs time to flourish. Give it that time.

#8 (ignore order) Couldn't Resist It.

Verse 1
I followed this road
No end and darkness all around
Turns and twists away
None for the better
Then I found guides on the ground
I just couldn't resist it

Chorus
It was a sign I couldn't miss
Filling my dreams
Bringing me awake
What I wouldn't give for just one kiss
I just can't resist you

Verse 2
I followed my dreams
The shadows faded, brought forth the light
Clouds all silver lined
A change for the better
It started with just a word feeling right
And I just couldn't resist it.

Chorus
It was a sign I couldn't miss
Filling my dreams
Bringing me awake
What I wouldn't give for just one kiss
I just can't resist you

Even so far apart I can't resist
It feels like an endless gap
Even when your right with me
I want to be close to you
Close like never before

It was a sign I couldn't miss (Couldn't miss)
Filling my dreams
Bringing me awake (awake for you)
What I wouldn't give for just one kiss (just one kiss)
I just can't resist you
I couldn't resist X3

Feels like I'm falling in love alone.

Uniform fits. Beret is shaped. Just need some boots and I'm good to go.

Jack has converted me to All Time Low. Hence I'm using one of their lyrics as my title. That and I probably am. Thanks to Jack here. Lots of music coming my way all thanks to him. And all of it AWESOME.

Another dream. Different in all but the roles played. And it seems what my dreams weave for me while I'm asleep is affecting my waking feelings. It could be nothing, like Amy said, but I think that was while she hadn't quite understood what I'd said. Remember it always starts as nothing.

The Jedi squirrels were weird. Very so. Ducks to squirrels...gotta wake up Will...

But not all the way.

Some of its epic.

(None of it sexual before any of you get the wrong idea)

HEY!

Remember, I've trusted you.

Don't abuse that.

WTF IS THAT THING?!

Bob Dylan. Reincarnated into some insect parasite green wiggly thing. I don't fucking know.

Biology was pretty easy today, nothing I couldn't answer so I'm confident I've at least got a high A. A* would be great though. Money :D

I haven't properly read MLIA for a couple of days. :O Guess I can't be bothered with it right now, but as one of the last posts I read said, Biology is just Chemistry, Chemistry is just Physics, Physics is just Maths and Maths sucks.

Made me chuckle.

I really need to get out more.

Speaking of such, Festival tomorrow. Well, to be fair it's more commonly known as everyone come to Moulton day, so that should be fun.

Sunday = Band practise. No BS. It's happening one way or another.


Blargh.




And you have lost the game once again.


Farewell.

Not even exams can spoil this weather.

And we all know that mood is linked to the weather. You more likely to be damp, grey and depressing if its a grey and depressing day, but the sun makes everything better.

I still love Nickelback. Its just so awesome.

B3 is a bitch module.

Seriously.

And down to business.

Maybe I should tell somebody. Maybe not. *shrugs*. We'll have to see won't we? Although, I suspect somebody maybe drawing conclusions of their own.

That'll just make it take longer you know.

I think I'll talk to Robert. He's good for a casual information sharing. And he's trustworthy. I think. Don't disappoint me, or I'll be back with an eye patch and a white cat, and you will die.

Cloud. Silver Lining. Cloud. Silver Lining. See it yet?

I'm sort of lucky in a way. I'm very outside to this shroud of melancholy that hangs over our group like a plague. Everyone seems to have caught it. 'Cept me and Jack of course. Everyone's been troubled emotionally, either on the surface or in the deep shadows of their being where no-one can see. Yet, Jack has his dose of happiness, fed to him from an outside source. And me? I'm basically an exception to the rule. I'm outside the picture. I know it's all there, and that's not leaving, but it doesn't know about me yet. I think I'd to keep that way. It won't get me. No doubt. I'm a fighter for good causes, and keeping at least a feeling of neutrality alive for everyone is a damn good cause.

It seems weird but I think in part, it was that odd dream I had that saved me. I may not have appreciated it right at first since waking up at 6am with a dry mouth isn't too fun, but it opened up my mind to the outside world. Slipped off the hold of a years futile waiting, and cast it away. I don't have the ghosts of regrets. Just a chance to start something new. Restore some life. All because of an unlikely appearance by an unlikely person in a unlikely dream. At a very convenient time. Just as I needed that last push to let go, I got it and I was better for it.

And no, I'm keeping the details of the unlikely person to myself because it would be WAY too premature for that. Far too much so.

Interesting things.

Yet to happen.

So yeah.

Yet, for all intents and purposes, I wouldn't have it many other ways. I mean, nothing can go drastically wrong, if nothing drastic happens.

Yes, I'm a silver lining kind of guy.

Silver lining right now?

A new start for me. Not held back by fictions of my mind. A cornucopia of options out there. I just need to chose one and I think I'd like to make a reasoned decision, so I'm going to go ahead and find reasons for my reasoning, and reason a certain direction form all the others by using specific and undeniable reasoning.

*yawn*

Bit of a late one for you here. 01:08 in the morning, just watched avatar. Yeah, it's still amazingly good.

I may be tired, but I'm not careless. Correct spelling and grammar throughout.

I should probably sleep, but I know I'll just wake up early with a mouth as dry as an Arab's sandal. Not nice.

But then again...

Another of those dreams would be nice...

We'll see.

Goodnight world.














Hoorah...

Change and Pride.

I've finally finished part 4 of my series. Well, its not that much since its the only part I have. Its a different story line to 1, 2 and 3, so that's how I could write it without having those 3. Once I get back the printed copy of part 1 I'll be able to get to work on that.

Iron man 2 is epicly awesome. Now I has AC/DC and Nickelback pleasing my ears.

I have moved on. It's been a long time in the making but it's happened. Now I'm in the process of moving on further to someone else. There will be more updates on that but for now I'm not too sure about who it will be, but it appears my head already has some idea. *Glares at self in gesture to his dream*

That really was a bit crazy, but I think it's a bit too long lasting to be nothing, since I haven't stopped thinking about that particular person since it happened. We shall see what becomes of this.

Dayyyyym

Just spent 3 hours writing part for of my futuristic story. I havn't got 1, 2 or 3, but i have managed to turn a dream i had into a story. It just needed a bit of a serious injection and some filling out, and it was good to go.

Hey Brian

You know what. I think something's changed. It appears that she has become increasingly off my mind. It's odd, but somehow relieving to know that I can not have her on my mind. It's like being free sort of, and I'm enjoying it, for the first time in so long, I think I can let go.

Just when you think your climbing out...

This is far worse than I ever could have imagined...

Bleh.

I wish I had something to blog about other than the recent stuff that's become the norm. You know, music, lack of reality, confusion, still loving Zoe. (First time I've used her name on here, so that should be a message to you lot)

Know now that Amy was right, you can't just stop caring about someone after so long, and you really can't. It never makes any sense, but no matter what you tell yourself while you're alone with your own thoughts all seems to bugger off the moment you see that person again and all your memories come along to beat your sorry arse for even trying. And trust me, there is a great deal you can remember if the time meant a great deal to you. It hits hard.

That diagram didn't really help that much. Outside of the wall of happiness topped with barbed wire of pure joy, with their happy with a chance of joy outlook, is a stark and grey world of meh. Where those who can survive in an ignorant content, and those abandoned by joy spend there days in solitude, hoping for a chance to one day be redeemed.

Despite all that, I wouldn't trade how I feel for the world you know. Its not often you come across this feeling, and its something truly unique and glorious, even with all its lows.

Breaking news.

Amy was right about something.

SHOCK!

But really, she's right, you can't just stop caring about someone, and I haven't really done that, I've just stopped trying, I'd still take the chance without a moments hesitation, but I can't keep hoping for a miracle to happen, because they rarely do.

Why have I stopped trying I have foreseen you to ask.

Simples.

She doesn't like me, at all. In any sort of way. I have come to the conclusion my existence is of little consequence to her.(If this happens to be a incorrect assumption. TELL ME D:)

(or a correct one for that matter)

Got it? Great.

Sit there in your understanding and understand.

I still love her.

And for that reason, I want to stop being what I perceive myself to be, a pest.

No more of these moonbeams

I'm tired. Its not going to happen, so why should I try and convince myself it might. That's right, for all of you know about what this relates to, I'm calling it quits. Shock I know, but today has really opened my eyes to reality, in a 'it's glaringly obvious you utter fool' kind of way.

Pirtae vs. Ninja. Puppy vs. Kitty. Its an arch enemies world this.

So tired after Karate today. Lots of running and its really warm and uncomfortable.

POKEMON IS TAKING OVER. 65+ hours and I'm not bored of it yet. Its pure AWESOME :D

However, no matter how long you try to escape into your own little world and hide away form any problems you have, reality will always creep up behind you and beat you with a stick. You want an ultimate Ninja. Reality. NO matter how much you immerse in that escape, you can't leave forever. Reality has to be faced, and it has to be greeted with either a welcoming hug, or an iron fist, depends how good you reality is. Embrace it, or beat it till it embraces you.(Technique not compatible with humans.)

I know exactly how my reality goes. Me, stuck in love with a love of the past, left chasing what might as well be moon beams for all the good it does me. But, I can't help carrying on, in the hope that, maybe, someday those moon beams will become real, and all of the time I spent will have been worth it. Its a shame moon beams rarely do.

Never doubt the power of music...

It can change your mood..pick you up, make you cry, bring out memories..good or bad.

It can change your mind...bring out those those thoughts and feelings so you can't ignore them, make you hold on or let it go.

There is always a song that can really touch you.

Me?

Never gonna be alone - Nickelback

Every time I hear that song I just can't help how I feel or what I remember, what I think about, it almost overwhelms me.

To me, music is the soul of humanity, no other species has music like we do. So much can be expressed by music. It truly is a form of power, free and untameable, it can't be controlled, because it touches everyone differently.

So the mind set of people who are touched by music about a black rich guy fucking his bitch I will never now, I can't connect with that shit.

That's what its about really, that connection with the essence of the music. Its that mental connection between the music and your memories that has the most power. If you can't help what comes to the surface when you hear a piece of music then it has touched you, and that music will always be able to do so.

So that's what I want you to think about my friends, what music can do such as this to you, and once you find that, don't give it up.

You confuse me...

I really don't get you at all. I can't decide whether you like me or not. I see you in school and I get a massive sense that you really could not care for my exsistence. I'll make up my mind that I won't bother you anymore because I hink you don't want me around, and then later I'll be online and its as if there was never any sort of dislike at all. All I want is some consistency so I can stop worrying about whether I bother you.

buggeration again

Yeah, I'll just discredit most of the lost post, I', even further from having any sort of clear mindset on that sort of thing than I was before. I'm just so confused with myself right now.

2,000,000 points, wave 498, 1 hour game time, WHY DID IT FREEZE? We could have gone on for so much longer, and it was already a high score.

Feeling damn good for no good reason.

I just feel so much better about myself recently. Maybe its because I can't be bothered to chase so I decided to stop instead. I hunted through my feelings and I found something that surprised even me. (I mean they're my feelings and I didn't see it coming)

"Everyone was so enthusiastic" "that's what she said" LOL

Amy, I'm dreadfully sorry, but this groping thing has to end. It's almost embarrassing.


Ah the realisation you have no school for 2 and a half weeks :D

I WANT THAT GAME.

Dreams just aren't enough, but sometimes they're all you have.

That is all.

No really, I just have no words for it.

How to know if you suffer from life's most serious disease. Love.

1:When you walk into a room you know they should be in, they are the first face you look for.

2: Whenever you see them, an armada of butterfly's kick up a party in your stomach.

3: You don't feel right unless you see them everyday

4: Whenever your with them or talking to them, there's never long enough.

5: They're your first of the day.

6: They're the last thought of your day.

7: Being without them hurts.

8: You side with them.

9: You hate it when they're sad and you want to help them.

10: You never pass up a chance to hold them.

11: You hate seeing them flirt/being flirted with/with any other girl/guy (See, it's still considerate of gender)

12: You never forget any time you had together.

13: If anyone says there too good for/not good enough for you, you just want to hit them in the face.

14: The idea of feeling any other way about them seems weird and unnatural.

15: You feel comfortable with them.

16: You can admit to loving them and be proud and unhesitating about it.

17: You find it hard to keep your eyes off them.

18: You can explain why them to anybody.

19: They can crush or make your day with a single expression/word.

20: Your less than angry if they text/ring you in the night.

21: You would try to meet them anywhere, any time.

22: Your reading this thinking of them to try and prove to yourself you love them.

Alternately 22: You are so sure your just reading this for kicks.

Yeah I don't why I bothered with this. All you in love people should know this by now, and if your not an in love person then why did you even bother. I mean seriously, why?

Maybe its cause I'm procrastinating. I don't want to do geography revision. BORING.

I know. Do you?

Shapop!

Yeah. You know it.

Congrats Jack.

Now that's done.

I feel so much better recently. It might be cause I was wrong and I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and it's so much better knowing the truth this time.

I died. Don't worry, I got better.

I should probably write some music t go along with my songs, but I can't be bothered right now.

Twister anybody?

I should so invest in one of those hats...

and some aviators...

I made the right choice.

...and the Puppy Legion marched to their doom against the iron ranks of the Kitty Invader

^^^^ Yeah, I don't know either ^.^

Grading today, which I don't think I could fail if I tried. Well maybe, but it would be close.

I'm a peace-keeper/maker.

I shall make you get along whether you like it or not. Not through direct force, but overwhelming logic and understanding, impartiality and desire to achieve. And achieve peace I will. If not for myself, then for everyone else. Resistance is futile.

Shadadabam!

That is all.

I call 7!!

7 songs in 4 months. BooYah!! :D

Diligating obligations

'Go read my blog you douche'

For when you cant be bothered to explain your feelings.

Yup, still alikin' Nickelback.

I've got all these lyrics on here now, but none of them have been put into a band situation. It's so frustrating waiting to get a chance to apply your work and have it appraised/criticised heavily and discarded.

#7 Never Giving Up

My first new lyric post in quite awhile, I just haven't been up to it recently, but here we go (your fucking damn right that's 5 songs now =D)

Verse 1
I can never forget what was there before
I can never let go of what might have been
I'm stuck in the past and in that scene
And the only place I'd rather be
Is with you in the now

Chorus
There's been anything quite so sure
Or anything that as much as this
Everyday I love you more and more
I'm never giving up on this feeling
And I'm holding on forever

Verse 2
Its been far to long for me to give up now
Just to try is like a knife through the heart
It kills the thought as soon as it starts
Just holding on causes pain I can't bear
But letting go causes more

Chorus
There's never been anything quite so sure
Or anything that means as much as this
Everyday I love you more and more
I'm never giving up on this feeling
And I'm holding on forever

Bridge
No-one else could mean more than you
The fish in the sea don't mean a thing
When I'm alone in this desert

There's never been anything quite so sure
Or anything that means as much as this
Everyday I love you more and more
I'm never giving up on this feeling
And I'm holding on forever
Without you something isn't right
Your my last thought every night
And the first with new light
I'm never giving up on this feeling
And I'm holding on forever

I just can't do it..

It doesn't matter. I can't bring myself to just let go. I thought it hurt to hold on, but I'd never tried to let go. That's like a knife in the heart, and whether anything changes or not, this is how I feel.

There I said it.

Nickelback. Nickelback. Nickelback. Thinky times. OMG MORE NICKELBACK

Yup. I've gotten into Nickelback. Perfect blend of lyrics. Dirty or pure. Deep or shallow. And some kick-ass guitar in there too. Its just all perfectly balanced.

I should really buy some their albums...

I am so jealous of Dan. Saw them live. TWICE. I wanna go someday...

Do I really anymore....
Or maybe...
Is it worth it...
Hold on...
Let go...
Move on...
I not sure of anything right now. What seemed so solid for nearly a year is now so unclear and dubious.

I f only there was someone who could help me with this. Someone could clear it up for me, make it easier to see, easier to solve. Help...please

Ima so gonna be a doctor.

NICKELBACK PLAYLIST XD

NOT AGAIN!!

Another damn cold.

Sucks.

Now I've fully convinced myself to change, I'm going to give it a proper go. I'm definitely going to look outside our group/former group/day to day friends this time. I think we've all had enough of that shit.

Lets play the logic game. What two parts of the school system have very little contact. Answer, X and Y. Due to 3 years of non mixed lessons, X and Y's are like strangers in each other's school, so it's a great chance to make new friends. If not, there's always other schools and outside organisations. All in all, there's a heck of a lot of people out there, if your willing to look that is.

The future

Been looking at Sixth form options, and opportunities to study medicine. Sixth form: I have chosen to take Biology, Chemistry and English Language. All chosen with Med school in mind. Yes guys, I'm deadly serious about that. Even if the requirements are extremely high. I need, to have a fighting chance of acceptance, 7 GCSEs at A*, 3 As at A-level in Chemistry, another science and one other subject. Its going to be a lot of hard work, getting the GCSEs, the A-levels, and if I get accepted then the 5 year course will be very tough, and then if I pass the MBChB and become a doctor, it wont get easier. It'll be pressure, stress and constant hard work. However, that doesn't bother me because I'll know I'll be doing something worthwhile and making a difference. (and there is of course the pay....)

Saturday.....TEAM RON FTW

Saturday was alright. Shame i missed an hour of it. Sims 3 is vair vair good and now i wanna play sims but i dont have it. And crap.

We have the best team. Get over you sparkly douchebag and marval at the gingerness!

I really felt like procrastinating, but I'll do this post :)

Really tired. Barely any energy for anything other than Rock 'n' Roll.

AC/DC have some plianly awesome songs, Ima playing She likes Rock 'n' Roll recently, easy, but awesomely satisfying to play. Even more so if you head bang and jump around like crazy while playing. The jumping I dont have so much room for, but I've got the head banging spot on :P

OMG, You just got graped.

Yeah, in the mouth

Shapow

Yeah thats right. Cardiac attack.

Well, spent valentines reading MLIA to keep my mind off being single, and it worked pretty well. That site is just pure LOLs. Could have been a better spent afternoon, but under the circumstances, it was pretty good.

Still listening to riot, plenty of potential for learning there.

If you havent watched the cyanide and happiness shorts on youtube, you best get a move on, they're awesome :P

Remember (this one was for Amy, but its irrelevant now)

I would take this off now, but I think it'll serve best as a reminder for others.

Besides, I'm sort of proud of it.
-----------------------------------------------

When you think of someone
Think of the one
Dont spend time on sexual fantasy

Let love shape your mind
Let it block what threatens
What threatens to severe the ties
And have no need for lies

Remember, remember them
Remember yourself dont lose sight
Keep them in your eyes
And keep the thoughts close

When you have love like that
Why do you need others
One for the other and the other for one
Love only needs two
And it matters who

Keep in faith
Keep in spirit
Keep with the feeling

Remember, remember them
Remember yourself dont lose sight
Keep them in your eyes
And have no need of lies

This is a message for BOTH sides. Read it, Learn it, Remember it.

#5 Climbing, Flying, Falling

Intro (spoken)
Climbing, Flying, Falling

Verse 1:
Take a moment to pause
Stop yourself and just think
Let your mind find the cause
A cause to help you try
A cause to help you climb

Chorus:
It all happens the same
Up we go to reach the top
What goes up must come down
Down with a brutal stop

Verse 2:
Seize your chance for freedom
Set youself free this once
Its far too late for some
But take your chance to live
Take your chance to fly

Chorus:
It all happens the same
Up we go to reach the top
What goes up must come down
Down with a brutal stop

(solo)

Verse 3:
All thats good can just end
Love leaves in the blink of an eye
Its a message to send
Its takes a lifetime to rise
But just a second to fall

Bridge:
We climb, We fly, We fall

Chorus:
It all happens the same
Up we go to reach the top
What goes up must come down
Down with a brutal stop

(End)

#4 My Final Breath

Verse 1:
Its unmistakable
Something that cant be forgotten
Its undescribable
The feeling when you head gives way
And your heart bursts with emotion

Chorus:
No matter what the price could be
I've found something to fight for
I'll never let go of what I feel
I'll hold on until my final breath

Verse 2:
Its uncomparable
Too much for anything to overcome
Its invincable
Nothing can bring me down from here
Nothing can change what I feel now

Chorus:
No matter what the price could be
I've found something to fight for
I'll never let go of what I feel
I'll hold on until my final breath

Bridge:
If you find what every looks for
The feeling could pull you from a pit
If you let it slip away from your hold
You'll never forgive yourself for it

Chorus:
No matter what the price could be
I've found something to fight for
I'll never let go of what I feel
I'll hold on until my final breath
(Repeat)

CHARLIE WATCH OUT FOR THE BLEHBLEHBLEH!

'Quickly, grab onto our tounges.' 'Eurgh, again with the tounges?' 'MMMLLEEHHHH!' 'Oh that is so gross.'

WHHOOPP.

Charlie the Unicorn. Youtube it. Watch it. Love it.

Work Exp. is almost over. Thanks be to all that is just and good. Its boring. Very boring. 4 hours of nothing.

Oh look. Narwal.

Oh such a problem. Do I save my money in case I need it sometime soon, or just by an AC/DC album. I want to be sure I dont need the money for something important, but I really want that album. Solution? Wait.

So I round of this blog with a question. Do teenage 'loves' mean anything? Do they have a meaning, or are they just tempory results of fogged thinking? I think they can mean something, if the people involved are willing to let it have meaning, but what do you think. Comments, or responses in blogs allowed.

Seriously, think about it.

These arent the droids your looking for. Ummm, yes they are. FFFFUUUUU!!!

Yeah. Star Wars. Nerd Time. Nerd Time over.

As far as I am aware, and thats pretty far considerin i'm me, I am spending Valentines Day single this year. But its not like its the end of the world is it. I mean, come on, As our local Reality Enforcer pointed out, You'll get to 18, you'll probably never see him/her again (once again, comeplete diversity) and you'll end up married to some wonderful woman/man who will then be the love of your life. Not ________. If you think about it, the RE might be right.

But to Hell with Reality and Logic. This isnt logical and its worth every second. What MIGHT HAPPEN in YEARS to come has no effect on your feelings of NOW. So live for NOW everyone. Let your confused minds run you around chasing love. Feel NOW and leave TOMORROW to its own business. Just remember that its always today. The future has no claim over the validity of the present. So thats my note to you Reality Enforcer. The Present is what matters. NOW. Take everyday by the scruff of the neck and shake it about for oppurtunities and take them. Dont hold back.

So think about it. Now, or Tomorrow. I'll take the present anyday, each day as it comes, relaxed, open-minded, ready for what might present its self during the day, but, remember that a plan ahead is good for some days, Improvisation is nice, but sometimes it just wont work.

Valentine's day (upcoming) work exp (upcoming) yup a lots gunna happen this next, work exp that is

Valentine's day; in the words of destry of IDEK (which pretty much apply atm) 'Valentine's day is a day for some is a day for loving your significant other, for other people, like me, its just a sharp reminder that you dont have significant other'

Work Exp eh? East Hunsbury for me, door at 7:20 to catch the first bus into town, then change to one going to East Hunsbury, then back on one going to town, and then finally home, I am completly at the mercy of the local bus service, I am filled with sarcastic confidence.

AC/DC: Best rock band in the world, there is no argument against they just are. They are, undisputably, awesome.

Pahhh, limp :/

I'm gunna be limping. I fell wrong on my ankle and now it hurts to walk on it. Have to limp or I simply cant go any where. Not bad enough to get me off school mind, no fracture of anything, so Im gunna have to fight through the corridors of school, and up the stairs.

With a limp.

YAYAAAAAAAYAYAYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!1!11!!!

And almost nil comes to light.

Honest, and with no intent of ever changing my mind i hereby declare that..........................................................................................................................................................................I WILL PESTER JACK STEVENS UNTIL HE TELLS ALL THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Thats right you douche, Im gunna go on about it until you spill it. If you didnt want this then you shouldnt have encouraged curiosity by posting that you wouldnt tell on your blog. So with no further adue, lets actually blog.

Me and Jack M had awesome guitar time at lunch, we was like every now and agin, omg i know *duet ensues*

Amy scares me with her dreams. The perversity is OVER 9000!!!!!

IT WILL NOT END JACK!!!!!! UNLESS THE TRUTH IS TOLD!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >:D

Deep Thinking; something to persue with caution, you may not like what you find

Anyone can think beyond the surface, really see what is there, let their thought touch the very deepest parts of humanity. But not everyone can deal with what they find there. I can, and I regret it at the core of things. Deep thinking reaches into your soul, digging deeper into yourself and others, and to follow the road it lays before you leads to a different self. It consumes you; envelops you in a barrier of thought; detaches you from those around, until it threatens to leave cold and alone. A true deep thinker must remain vigilant against the dark touches of deep thought, remain in contact with the people around. Something I can only hope to start to develop, a skill, a way to see the truth of humanity, yet save my own from dark exile.

And trust me, the detachment formed by the lure of deep thought can steal you away before you even see its true result, it can take from you all you care about. Detachment kills the soul, and, can break the heart.

But enough of the malignant possibilities of deep thought.

Linking back to my last post about differences of perspective, you can see the signs of it as clear as day. Atleast, I can. Everyday I see the all the little reasons I feel in love, and you can see it too, even if you dont realise it, because not all of the reasons can been seen, some of them have to felt, and its those things that you feel, not nessercarily see, that are the reasons for love. If you can feel those things, then never let go, to do so will be to break your own heart

Its all about perspective

Yes, its all about how you look at something that defines to you what it really is. What you look for and how you look for it change what you find in the end. Sort of like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Where one sees perfection, another may see nothing. It all depends on your ideals, on your preferences, on your depth of character value. All these things change how a thing appears. For preferences; you may glance over a red rose, but be transfixed by a white one (thats the best example I can think off without going too far) For depth of character; you may have a friend with you when you see person A (you see that, no presumptions of gender there ladies and gentlemen, so you can fill person with guy or girl dependant on which way you roll, but I digress) Friend is taken back by person A, nudges you to get your attention, and says 'wow, Person A is so beautiful/handsome' and you look and say, 'not really just looks normal to me' and your friend is like ':0' and your like, 'lets move on before you put down roots and get transfixed by person A'

Later, you and your friend happen to run into Person B, and you stop dead in your tracks, become speechless, and if you can, drop what your carrying in a show of 'OMG' Your friend looks at you, seeing your wonder-struck expression, and then looks at Person B, turns back to you, forcibly gets your attention, and asks 'Why Person B?' You look at them, give them a withering look, and say in a love struck voice 'You cold never understand it all' then turn back to look at Person B with a sigh of content, at which point your friend drags you back from Loveland with some comment and you move away, yet both of you are in truth still thinking about your respective Person and arent really into whats going on.

And that is the power of perspective views of people.

It comes down to buying stuff aswell, colours and shapes that you prefer. Different styles of things you prefer, genres. Its mostly about perspective preferances in buying.

So think about that guys and girls, what do you actually look for, in appearance, character/personality, and all the other little things that you see in the person you feel for, what is it that sets them aside for you as perfect, and if you cant think of anything, then you need to think harder, or you lying to yourself and to them.

Love should never be a lie.

And thats the end of todays deep thinking, but seriously think about it, and I have, I know what it is that makes them perfect, and its helps you to accept your feelings in the end

#2 Wasteland #3 Dividing Line (rewritten)

Wasteland:

(Verse 1)
It takes a survior to cheat death
To live to take another breath
Will we all have to live as these
Or submit on our knees
(What will we chose)

(Chorus)
Its a single way from here
The end could be far or near
An express way to a fatal end
An express way to a Wasteland

(Verse 2)
We stand to watch our world
While our future is unfurled
Cities fall and Forests die
Skies burn and Oceans dry
(What will we chose)

(Chorus)
Its a single way from here
The end could be far or near
An express way to a fatal end
An express way to a Wasteland

(bridge)
This is an Express way to Wastelands
No other destination

(solo XD)

(outro)
Its a single way from here
Doesnt matter whats far or near
An express way to a fatal end
An express way to a Wasteland

(outro solo)
('What will we chose' to be repeated during outro)
---------------------------------

Dividing Line:

(Verse 1)
What is seen by innocent eyes
Is not truth
There can be no fear of dark lies
If we want to fix what is so wrong
To bring an end due for so long

(Bridge)
No matter how hard you try
You can never find the truth
Behind a truely told lie

(Chorus)
Not marked by any sign
No truth to lift the night
Just our thin Dividing Line
Between right and wrong, between left and right

(Verse 2)
From a time where we could trust
We all pass
To an era of material lust
Money and gain rule the thoughts
Lies are told to increase the noughts

(Bridge)
No matter how hard you try
You can never find the truth
Behind a truely told lie

(Chorus)
Not marked by any sign
No truth to lift the night
Just our thin Dividing Line
between right and wrong, between left and right

(solo)

(Verse 3)
We set our simple moral laws
Until we fight
No thought to cause a pause
Blood and tears wash honour away
Leaving revenge and deciet to stay

(outro)
-----------------------------------
That alls for tonight folks, and dont bother trying to copy these, in part or whole, got the publish time and date here so I can prove they're mine.

Dont forget to comment

this is a rather comfy fence actually. Am not geting down. Come get me.

Will not take a side until I now whats going on. Until its justified I make no judgements. I'll just be there for everybody. YAYYYY everybody :D Oh wait, inappropriate D:

#1 Behind the lies (Edited- Please Re-read, better or worse?)

Across an ocean of tears
I came looking for you
I cast away my fears
To prove my love was true

I was lost in your eyes
I saw behind all the lies
To the pain that you bear
Behind the icy cold stare

I couldnt break away
I made my choice to stay
To stay by your side
To say I felt inside

I gave you my word
And I hope that you heard
I said I loved you
And I waited to hear it from you

Those words never came
My heart fell in shame
You would never see
My undying love
For you.

Like I said. If you feel the words, and they mean something to you, then it flows easy.

I would like some comments please. Whats good? Whats bad? Doesnt matter, I'd just like some opinions.

certainly certain about something that just isnt certain on both ends

Im certain. Yup. Certain. 'bout as certain as rain in a rainstorm. Atleast, I'm certain about my end of the whole thing, but it all rests on the choice of another whether its a certain thing. I say its in doubt, but its best to think the worst, because then it cant get worse, only better.

Got my evening planned. Guitar. History. Guitar. Eat. History. Lyric work. History. Read sleep. Fb and MSN the whole time. Well...apart from when im eating. Work rate my slow down considerably if she comes online tonight. Always does. My own fault really. Hard to working when you would rather drop everything and talk.

Got plans tomorrow aswell. Me and Dan are gunna have a bandy thing where we do band things in order to make the first step to entertaining people and earing money. Gunna jam, and we're gunna write lyrics. We're gunna make music like we've never made music before, and by that, I mean, we're going to actually make full music after the next full band session, which is an uncertain amount of time away because Jacob called his dad a cunt and punched him in the face. Charming.

Can only write lyrics about what you feel, or it will feel to forced, and you wont get that 'woah' factor from yourself, your band or anyone else. I have to feel the words, have to feel what they mean, what they mean to me.

and it was like SNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
now thats outta the way..
broke phone.
feel abit ill.
not revising.
English story was the work of a genius :P
history is easy.
omg more snow.
i have never, the best way to find out things you never wanted to know.
brief and to the point