I'm sort of lucky in a way. I'm very outside to this shroud of melancholy that hangs over our group like a plague. Everyone seems to have caught it. 'Cept me and Jack of course. Everyone's been troubled emotionally, either on the surface or in the deep shadows of their being where no-one can see. Yet, Jack has his dose of happiness, fed to him from an outside source. And me? I'm basically an exception to the rule. I'm outside the picture. I know it's all there, and that's not leaving, but it doesn't know about me yet. I think I'd to keep that way. It won't get me. No doubt. I'm a fighter for good causes, and keeping at least a feeling of neutrality alive for everyone is a damn good cause.
It seems weird but I think in part, it was that odd dream I had that saved me. I may not have appreciated it right at first since waking up at 6am with a dry mouth isn't too fun, but it opened up my mind to the outside world. Slipped off the hold of a years futile waiting, and cast it away. I don't have the ghosts of regrets. Just a chance to start something new. Restore some life. All because of an unlikely appearance by an unlikely person in a unlikely dream. At a very convenient time. Just as I needed that last push to let go, I got it and I was better for it.
And no, I'm keeping the details of the unlikely person to myself because it would be WAY too premature for that. Far too much so.
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