Dayyyyym

Just spent 3 hours writing part for of my futuristic story. I havn't got 1, 2 or 3, but i have managed to turn a dream i had into a story. It just needed a bit of a serious injection and some filling out, and it was good to go.

Hey Brian

You know what. I think something's changed. It appears that she has become increasingly off my mind. It's odd, but somehow relieving to know that I can not have her on my mind. It's like being free sort of, and I'm enjoying it, for the first time in so long, I think I can let go.

Just when you think your climbing out...

This is far worse than I ever could have imagined...

Bleh.

I wish I had something to blog about other than the recent stuff that's become the norm. You know, music, lack of reality, confusion, still loving Zoe. (First time I've used her name on here, so that should be a message to you lot)

Know now that Amy was right, you can't just stop caring about someone after so long, and you really can't. It never makes any sense, but no matter what you tell yourself while you're alone with your own thoughts all seems to bugger off the moment you see that person again and all your memories come along to beat your sorry arse for even trying. And trust me, there is a great deal you can remember if the time meant a great deal to you. It hits hard.

That diagram didn't really help that much. Outside of the wall of happiness topped with barbed wire of pure joy, with their happy with a chance of joy outlook, is a stark and grey world of meh. Where those who can survive in an ignorant content, and those abandoned by joy spend there days in solitude, hoping for a chance to one day be redeemed.

Despite all that, I wouldn't trade how I feel for the world you know. Its not often you come across this feeling, and its something truly unique and glorious, even with all its lows.

Breaking news.

Amy was right about something.

SHOCK!

But really, she's right, you can't just stop caring about someone, and I haven't really done that, I've just stopped trying, I'd still take the chance without a moments hesitation, but I can't keep hoping for a miracle to happen, because they rarely do.

Why have I stopped trying I have foreseen you to ask.

Simples.

She doesn't like me, at all. In any sort of way. I have come to the conclusion my existence is of little consequence to her.(If this happens to be a incorrect assumption. TELL ME D:)

(or a correct one for that matter)

Got it? Great.

Sit there in your understanding and understand.

I still love her.

And for that reason, I want to stop being what I perceive myself to be, a pest.

No more of these moonbeams

I'm tired. Its not going to happen, so why should I try and convince myself it might. That's right, for all of you know about what this relates to, I'm calling it quits. Shock I know, but today has really opened my eyes to reality, in a 'it's glaringly obvious you utter fool' kind of way.

Pirtae vs. Ninja. Puppy vs. Kitty. Its an arch enemies world this.

So tired after Karate today. Lots of running and its really warm and uncomfortable.

POKEMON IS TAKING OVER. 65+ hours and I'm not bored of it yet. Its pure AWESOME :D

However, no matter how long you try to escape into your own little world and hide away form any problems you have, reality will always creep up behind you and beat you with a stick. You want an ultimate Ninja. Reality. NO matter how much you immerse in that escape, you can't leave forever. Reality has to be faced, and it has to be greeted with either a welcoming hug, or an iron fist, depends how good you reality is. Embrace it, or beat it till it embraces you.(Technique not compatible with humans.)

I know exactly how my reality goes. Me, stuck in love with a love of the past, left chasing what might as well be moon beams for all the good it does me. But, I can't help carrying on, in the hope that, maybe, someday those moon beams will become real, and all of the time I spent will have been worth it. Its a shame moon beams rarely do.

Never doubt the power of music...

It can change your mood..pick you up, make you cry, bring out memories..good or bad.

It can change your mind...bring out those those thoughts and feelings so you can't ignore them, make you hold on or let it go.

There is always a song that can really touch you.

Me?

Never gonna be alone - Nickelback

Every time I hear that song I just can't help how I feel or what I remember, what I think about, it almost overwhelms me.

To me, music is the soul of humanity, no other species has music like we do. So much can be expressed by music. It truly is a form of power, free and untameable, it can't be controlled, because it touches everyone differently.

So the mind set of people who are touched by music about a black rich guy fucking his bitch I will never now, I can't connect with that shit.

That's what its about really, that connection with the essence of the music. Its that mental connection between the music and your memories that has the most power. If you can't help what comes to the surface when you hear a piece of music then it has touched you, and that music will always be able to do so.

So that's what I want you to think about my friends, what music can do such as this to you, and once you find that, don't give it up.

You confuse me...

I really don't get you at all. I can't decide whether you like me or not. I see you in school and I get a massive sense that you really could not care for my exsistence. I'll make up my mind that I won't bother you anymore because I hink you don't want me around, and then later I'll be online and its as if there was never any sort of dislike at all. All I want is some consistency so I can stop worrying about whether I bother you.

buggeration again

Yeah, I'll just discredit most of the lost post, I', even further from having any sort of clear mindset on that sort of thing than I was before. I'm just so confused with myself right now.

2,000,000 points, wave 498, 1 hour game time, WHY DID IT FREEZE? We could have gone on for so much longer, and it was already a high score.